the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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