I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
