Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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