I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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