i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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