How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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