the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
