Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
