She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
