What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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