Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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