I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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