I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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