Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Randomize
