All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I cannot find my penis.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
