this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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