I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
