Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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