Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
we're so committed to being not committed
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
