shes about as inviting as chlamydia
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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