Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the condom got lost in my hair
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
