Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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