We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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