I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize