i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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