U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
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I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
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Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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