Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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