and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Is Oprah even human
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
