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• (404): View more from Georgia

  i may or may not be watching the land before time

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• (530): View more from California

  i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?

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• (315): View more from New York

  I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (865): View more from Tennessee

  In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.

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• (415): View more from California

  When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!

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