His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.