Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  You up for the gym tonight after work?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Chris Brown style, or less felonious?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Haha, all felonious.

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  (248) You up for the gym tonight after work? (734): I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog. (248): Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today. (734): Chris Brown style, or less felonious? (248): Haha, all felonious. http://tfl.nu/kj7p
  Replies (5) Good night (1611) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.

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  (323): my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation. http://tfl.nu/m27j
  Replies (9) Good night (835) Bad night (3776)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.

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  (847): so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all. http://tfl.nu/abug
  Replies (15) Good night (1231) Bad night (4245)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.

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  (732): Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest. http://tfl.nu/jp7b
  Replies (36) Good night (6412) Bad night (2489)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.

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  (606): i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer. http://tfl.nu/0wtr
  Replies (20) Good night (3904) Bad night (2461)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.

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  (703): She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman. http://tfl.nu/z41q
  Replies (15) Good night (7235) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.

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  (647): making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself. http://tfl.nu/as80
  Replies (8) Good night (1264) Bad night (2927)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.

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  (215): the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign. http://tfl.nu/j53c
  Replies (7) Good night (3237) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy

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  (650): Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy http://tfl.nu/o3ew
  Replies (8) Good night (1063) Bad night (2908)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.

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  (202): There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again. http://tfl.nu/5erg
  Replies (18) Good night (2714) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...

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  (231): Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans... http://tfl.nu/n7qg
  Replies (4) Good night (475) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts

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  (619): Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts http://tfl.nu/wt8n
  Replies (4) Good night (579) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.

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  (865): No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing. http://tfl.nu/ca26
  Replies (1) Good night (809) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?

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  (774): I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do? http://tfl.nu/dozv
  Replies (16) Good night (645) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved

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  (214): dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved http://tfl.nu/kl2o
  Replies (1) Good night (393) Bad night (282)

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