Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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