I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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