so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
