Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
