I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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