i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
