Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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