the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Duck Duck Cougar?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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