Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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