i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the condom got lost in my hair
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
