I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
