He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
