Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
