I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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