I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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