I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
