Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
