the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
