I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize