Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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