better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
