If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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