I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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