my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
