White coat. Heels.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
