I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize