So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
