Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
