Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
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Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
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We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize