super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
4 words: hood of his car
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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