I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
