i think i have two assholes
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
