dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize