Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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