I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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