if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
